I’m super excited to be reading from my new book Make Love Better: How to Own Your Story, Connect with Your Partner and Deepen Your Relationship Practice, at the Process Work Institute at 7pm on Thursday September 19th. I’ll share about my writing journey, talk about some of the key concepts, and read excerpts from the book.
To give you a sense of what’s really important to me, here’s a short excerpt from the end of the Introduction.
Read More
I discovered something. There’s a background reason that I blog—and I wasn’t fully aware of it.
I knew the reasons in front: To bring out my thinking and dreaming, to share personal experiences that might inspire others, to offer tools for navigating and finding meaning in tough experiences, to teach skills to people who coach or counsel others. A deep wish: for things to be easier, more facile for you than they have been for me, especially in relationship.
Read MoreTo demolish racism you have to dismantle the system. You have to dismantle the parts—the beliefs, the attitudes, the values and the behaviors. ... We have to dismantle the culture of white utopia. Kevin Jones (on OPB’s State of Wonder, April 16, 2016)
Most people I talk to feel very unsettled. As it should be. Things are heating up.
I go to sleep worrying. I wake up pressured to act, to somehow be helpful. Mostly I don’t know how or what to do. So when I experience something that feels transformative, that I believe does make a difference, I want to shout it out.
Last week, in the midst of everything bad, I witnessed the power of art, specifically theatre, to create a situation that almost forcedpeople to empathize. I've written before about this special power of art. Sarah Lewis calls it aesthetic force. Not force by gunfire. Not force that maims or leaves us lifeless. But force that leaves us “changed—stunned, dazzled and knocked out.”
Read MoreDiscomfort is kicking my ass today. It’s that twitchy feeling I sometimes get in my chest when I have to do something hard and an inner voice is telling me I suck and since there’s no way I’ll succeed, I may as well put it off. Procrastinate.
Read More
“If you inspire people to do their own thing, I think that’s the greatest thing. One always hopes for that…” Patti Smith
It’s the 40th anniversary of the release of Patti Smith’s revolutionary album Horses, an album that changed my life and launched my short-lived career as a punk rock star.
So much inspired me about this album, from Robert Maplethorpe’s iconic photograph on the cover, featuring Patti in gender bending church-boy attire sourced from (my then favorite store) Salvation Army (the record producers wanted to pretty her up but she wouldn’t have it), to the shocking and irreverent beat poetry in her lyrics—Jesus died for somebody’s sins but not mine. Above all else, I loved that she couldn’t sing very well—not in the standard sense, and she did it anyway. She didn’t look or act like a female was supposed to and she stayed true to herself. This was beautiful to me.
Read MoreChange management: passé. Conflict resolution: no longer sexy at all. Innovation: it’s the thing—the elixir for today.
There are countless ways to think about innovation. Wait… Isn’t every new thought about innovation an innovation? Well, no. Not unless that creative thought results in the implementation of something new. Innovation involves putting ones creative ideas to work.
Why the rage? Why are so many smart people—artists, designers, educators, engineers and CEOs—all so concerned about whether or not they are doing it?
Read MoreMost of us have not cultivated a welcoming stance towards disturbances, especially ones that interfere with our goals and intentions. Whether it is an unsightly cold sore on the day of a big presentation, a piece of negative feedback from someone we respect or the appearance in our inbox of someone we hooked up with on that crazy drunken night all those years ago, disturbances are rarely met with open arms or attitudes.
Read MoreAnother sunny day and Mattie is spending it under the bed. I’m not at all happy about this; despite the fact she has been limping for a few days and needs rest. She should at least be staring out the window at the waves, or on the deck sniffing sea air.
Read More
Processwork is a unique approach to personal development and collective change. It ideates, it addresses a broad range of issues, it penetrates layers of experience, and it dives into the deepest nature of things. Below, learn about some of its most foundational ideas, think about them critically, and find my accompanying advice.
Read More
